Relationships from the Perspective of Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs

Abraham Maslow wrote that all humans need the same things, essentially, in order to be happy and achieve their full potential. He used a pyramid as the visual representation of this idea for several reasons. The most important of which is the way the needs are stacked; you need the one below to move up the pyramid.

• The bottom of the pyramid is the lowest rank, but takes up the most space. It represents the need for food, water, shelter, warmth -- our physical needs. These are small things that, if we do not have them, will make us substantially happier. They are also the bedrock of the rest of the pyramid; if you don’t have enough food, or you’re always cold, there is no way you can do much of anything other than find food and get warm!
• The next layer of the pyramid is safety, security, and freedom from fear. Again, if you are busy worrying about whether someone is going to kill you while you sleep or steal your next meal, you are not going to be free to move up.
• Our social needs take the form of love and belonging; most of us get these from family, friends, and sexual intimacy. 
• Second from the top is self-esteem. We gain a feeling of value from the respect of others, recognition for our mysteries and achievements, and an inner sense of confidence.
• At the pinnacle of the pyramid is self-actualization. This occurs when individuals reach a state of harmony and understanding because they are engaged in achieving their full potential. 

Beyond the routine of need fulfillment, Maslow envisioned moments of extraordinary experience, known as “peak experiences,” which are profound moments of love, understanding, happiness, or rapture, during which a person feels more whole, alive, self-sufficient and yet a part of the world, more aware of truth, justice, harmony, goodness, and so on. Self-actualizing people have many such peak experiences.

It is interesting to assess these needs from the perspective of relationships, which people will leverage to help them fulfill each and every one of the needs on this list. The relationship becomes more meaningful and healthy as its context rises on the pyramid; its participants become happier as they approach their full potential. As you can imagine, if a relationship is based solely on one member’s need for food or shelter, that is not going to be a very deep relationship. 

A self-actualized relationship would be between people who are self-sufficient, looking to work together to create something more than the sum of its parts. It is a conscious relationship. It's about what you can give rather than what you receive. It is about freedom and growth; as well as enjoying more “peak experiences” with each other!