We all spend time thinking about the future. Our outlook has a pretty big influence on how we communicate with others. You will almost always get a better response from someone if you believe that outcome will be positive. This also ties into displaying self-confidence, another very attractive quality. 

Not all sex toys are created equal… and the spectrum ranges from safe, attractive, and scent-free all the way to toxic, unhygienic, and reeking of mystery plastics. And while you might think that's the scary part, the real scary part is that a company could have a manufacturing plant in China put “silicone” on the label when it’s far from silicone. Nothing and no one can stop them. Nothing on that packaging has to hold a grain of truth. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REGULATION! Wait, WHAT!? I'm sorry, I learned this and thought it was insane. 

Earlier this week I was featured on The Bed Post Podcast. Host Erin Pim spoke with me for an hour and we barely scratched the surface, I will probably be doing another with her and hopefully other podcasts in the future! This helpful episode includes online dating tips, texting etiquette, and how to squirt along with lots more! A little warning, her mic was on the fritz for the first bit of the show, I promise the sound quality gets better!

A self-actualized relationship would be between people who are self-sufficient, looking to work together to create something more than the sum of its parts. It is a conscious relationship. It's about what you can give rather than what you receive. It is about freedom and growth; as well as enjoying more “peak experiences” with each other! 

Many people who dispense dating advice will tell you to wait two hours before replying to a text, or two days before sending the first text after you’ve gotten someone’s number. The reason for this is to help give the impression that you’re someone who is busy, who has things going on, who will reply when they have a chance. Taking days to reply to someone will rarely be excused by being ‘busy,’ and replying within 30 seconds at any time of the day or night will likely be seen as clingy or boring. The idea is to be authentically busy, and courteous about how you respond to people. 

We all know that the right kind of touch will leave us aroused, but there are many reasons to make physical contact with your partner outside the bedroom as well. The proven benefits of touch are ubiquitous, from reducing violent behavior and strengthening the immune system to developing trust and team dynamics. To me, though, its most important effect is increasing emotional intimacy.

Actions speak louder than words. If you do the things you say, people respect your word, and they respect you based on your actions. People who deserve respect are like a forest on a lake; the trees on the horizon are their words, and their actions are the mirrored trees stretching across the water. If you want to make authentic connections, people need to see that your words reflect your actions.

Step one of building a decent profile is discovering what it is you want. Be honest with yourself about what you are looking for; why are you making this profile? A profile that eloquently communicates your desires and follows these basic guidelines will be extremely successful.

Experiences are what make us who we are, they define us; the things we do with our lives are what we are made of, and people don’t want to hang out with generic husks containing nothing but some dried out ‘netflix and chill’.  Be exciting, be complex, be interesting.

It takes very little time to open up to other travelers and establish a strong bond with them. You both realize that it is likely you will part ways in a few days -- weeks at most -- and you will likely never seem them again in your life. This makes you feel comfortable with sharing much more of your yourself than you might even share with close friends at home. 

We are learning that we don't have to settle and struggle under the weight of the "social norm.” We can have what makes us happy, and there is no reason to feel ashamed. If we accept that it takes a concerted effort to make any kind of relationship successful, why not put that effort into achieving what you truly desire? Challenge the social norms, explore, experiment, and then, if you decide the social norm is what you want, congratulations! You are going to have a much easier time explaining yourself at family dinners. But as long as we are safe and focused on mutual consent and happiness, we can design our own relationships as complexly as we see fit.

Jealousy can be one of the hardest emotions to deal with. We have all dealt with it, and no one has a solution for the problem of its existence. If you ask ten people how they deal with jealousy, or if jealousy is healthy in a relationship, you will get ten different answers. Jealousy effects each of us to varying degrees, and it takes a much greater toll on some more than others. If we are willing to accept that we can work to control our reactions to jealousy, we must also accept that its power over us is not what we once thought it was. 

James Bond is confident, unapologetic, and always in control. Even if you take the whole secret agent, millionaire bit out of the equation, he is the epitome of class and desirability. He is often not the most attractive man in the room (as shown by the actors who have been cast as Bond over the years), but that's not women are attracted to. It is the way he carries himself that is so magnetic.

Imagine everyone has a big bowl full of jelly beans. These jelly beans represent ‘love’ in your life. When you meet someone you care about, you give them some of your jelly beans. Perhaps I am not as invested in any one person, because I am not relying on them to be responsible for all of my jelly beans, but I am fine with that. I have taken responsibility for my own jelly beans and making sure my bowl is always full. This is why I have not had to live with heartbreak for years, and my bowl of jelly beans is positively overflowing!